Memory

Muzzle-
Noun
restrains from speech

Gawky-
Adjective
awkward, clumsy

vivacity
noun
lively, animated

austere
adjective
severe in manner or appearance

saucy-
adjective
cheeky, fresh

ruffled-
verb
to disturb, vex

globular-
adjective
round spherical

Quell
Verb
Subdue, calm

pungent
adjective
caustic, sharply expressive

balmy-
adjective
soft, soothing


The four hours seemed an eternity. At one point I was convinced we were only moving in a globular motion, like vultures circling their prey before they attack. As the plane landed I itched in anticipation. My apprehension made me babble, my dad joked about forgetting the muzzle. I could already feel the change. I gawkily rose from my seat; I struggled to stand up in the midst of all my extra baggage. You never can be too prepared for the unknown. The austere woman in the seat next to me seemed rather ruffled. I apologized as she replied with a saucy remark. I did not care; no one could quell my exhilaration. You could spot the vivacity in my eyes a mile away. It was time. I walked out of the airport immediately struck with the pungent cold. Where was it? That white, balmy blanket I had waited all this time to see. And then it came. It fell with such silence; stillness I had never experienced. First slow, then it picked up; soon the ground was covered with its layers. It stuck to my hair, and as I reached for it, I felt its light airy moisture. A memory to last forever.

Hypnopaedia

My Hypnopaedia, "Love is the Movement," means to express the importance of living through love and recognizing the love that already surrounds us, whether through family, friends, or just a beautiful scene in nature. In a time when the world and especially our country is so desperately in need of change, new motivations will have to be seeked in order to employ that change, and that motivation should be love. As unrealistic or cheesy as it sounds, until the world can adopt an attitude of service and seek social justice, attitudes that evolve from love, there will never be change.

Dramatic Monologue

John

Look at them, as they sit in their “civilized” world,
Filling their days with their obstacle golf and so called “feelies,”
Orgy porgy, orgy porgy!
What fools!

And what if they ever have a problem?
Why there’s always soma
to give you a holiday from the facts!
“A gramme is always better than a damn!”
“A gramme in time saves nine!”
How ignorant!
Running around,
“Praise Ford, Praise Ford!”
Only in the words of Shakespeare is their truth!

And then there’s her.
That filthy Strumpet!
“If thou dost break her virgin knot before all
Sanctimonious ceremonies may with full and holy rite…”
How I loved the whore!

I should have never left the village for this cursed place,
I’d take alienation over these
whom stare at me like I’m a beast.
I hear the whispers,
“Here comes the Savage!”
I’ll show them a savage!

What do they know of life?
Of love?
“When the individual feels, the community reels.”
They sit in their soma bliss,
incapable of feeling,
Unable to see what they miss.

Look at my poor mother,
shamed into her vegetative state.
Oh Linda, forgive me.
Forgive me, God.
I'm bad, I'm wicked.
You are the only constant in this ever changing place.
What is there here of courage,
of faith,
of struggle,
of perserverance?
of accomplishment?
Why can't they see it?
Are they not just a sea of robots?

What does this new world do to them?
One day they will know the truth,
One day they will see beyond their soma,
One day they will feel.
Until then I remain the ultimate outsider.

The Real Me

“Ok everyone back to their seats!” The students hurried back to their desks with their paper plates full of candy and cookies. “I have prepared some superlative awards in honor of our celebration of your 5^th grade graduation!” said our teacher, Mrs. Trimner. “Callie Miller, Prettiest hair ribbons! Oh, how beautiful they are! Brennen Stearns, Class clown! I’ll miss your sense of humor!” I knew my name was coming next; I sat in worried anticipation, wondering what award I would be given. “Kelsey Iglesias, Stress Queen of the Class!” For as long as I can remember, I have been labeled a perfectionist by those around me. It began when I was only ten years old. Perfectionism can have both positive and negative effects. In one respect, I have always had high standards for my achievements and am always pushing myself to be better. On another, I let those expectations of having to be the best get in the way of opening myself up to significant life experiences.

Seven years later as a junior in high school, I still struggled with my perfectionism as I accepted no less then an A in all my classes. It was around that time that a friend suggested I go on a school retreat called Live Jesus. The retreat entailed four days of getting to know others, but most importantly getting to know yourself, through various activities and personal sharing. On the last night of the retreat, the group was instructed to go outside and sit in absolute silence. We were to reflect on our experience and think about where we wanted it to take us. Something about sitting in silence in the dark ironically gave me a sense of clarity. It was then when I realized that I had to change. Though school and grades and doing well will forever be an important part of me, I realized that my relationships and leadership abilities were equally important. It was from then on that I began to be more involved in school than I had ever been, and tried to make an effort not to allow grades to consume my life.

My opportunity to apply my new mentality came in the form of a school youth group called Basic. At Basic, we meet once a week to discuss certain topics and struggles that we, as students, experience in our daily lives. Last year Basic was run by a group of seniors who I admired for their leadership abilities. This year it was my responsibility to lead for my classmates. As Wednesday night drew nearer, my routine worrying kicked in as I questioned whether or not I was capable of filling such big shoes. After a few icebreakers, I began the discussion on the topic of pressure. Listening to everyone open up and help one another about the pressure and stress that also affected me, relieved as well as thrilled me as I saw my efforts and leadership helping others.

When I was able to finally to accept myself for the person I was, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Though I still had high expectations for my schoolwork, I evolved into a more well-rounded person, and thus had the ability to help others in the process. I gained a new found confidence in myself and in my ability as a leader. It is this outlook I hope to bring to UF in order to build the school community and form lasting relationships. I hope to use my leadership abilities to serve and help others who may be struggling in the same way I have in the past. What I learned on my Live Jesus retreat I believe will help me not only contribute to the UF community, but also help me to evolve into a more caring, and selfless individual.

The Wait

Pale as a starched sheet

Eyes wild and sweat running down his cheeks

Glittering and gleaming like water

Black beetling eyebrows

The room was like cold silence on an arctic night

The words of the nurse, only a breathless monotony

An old coffee cup with dried dregs inside sits on the table

He leaned over life with his hand on the pulse

Waiting for the end of the misery and bliss

Waiting, dying, hoping.

Eugene Oneill

It has been said that Eugene Oneill’s “Long Day’s Journey into Night,” is a prime example of what many literary critics call a “creative autobiography.” M.H. Abrams defines this term as, “the more-or-less fictional work of art about the development of the artist himself, which is preoccupied with memory, time, and the relations of what is passing to what is eternal, and is punctuated by illuminated moments, or "epiphanies;" turns on a crisis which involves the question of the meaning of the author's life and the purpose of his sufferings.” Through this use of a creative autobiography, Oneill creates a self portrait by allowing his readers to experience his older self returning to reflect upon the discovery and painfulness of his youth in “Long Days Journey into Night” (Mann 1).

Oneill conveys the younger version of himself through his character Edmund. Naïve, and immature, Edmund represents the Oneill who was tormented and wounded by his family’s arguments and accusations. Just as Edmund suffers from tuberculosis, O'Neill sets the play in 1912, the year he left home to recover in a tuberculosis sanatorium and embarked on his career as a writer (Mann 2). O'Neill is self-conscious, tormented, and obsessed by memories. He too feels a sense of failure, just like those that encompass the Tyrone family. In a sense Oneill can be seen in all of the Tyrone family. Like James, Mary, and Jamie, he is trying to come to terms with his past by narrating this long tale in which he confronts his memories. Thus, as we are watching the Tyrones during their literal journey from day to night, we are "seeing" the narrator as well on his painful journey from the present deep into his past ( Mann 3).

The older version of Oneill is portrayed through the author and narrator of the story. Unlike his younger version, this older self is a more mature, compassionate, and forgiving figure. In the dedication of “Long Days Journey into Night,” Oneill says he wrote the play "with deep pity and understanding and forgiveness for all the four haunted Tyrones." Looking back, Oneill starts to see his family not so much as tormentors, but more as victims of fate. He began to see the role his family played in his evolution as a writer, something his younger self could not recognize. From the misery of his father, he learned he needed to keep his uncompromising artistic standards; from his mother came the insight about human nature that influences his works; and from his brother came his introduction to modern writers (Mann 2).

Oneill’s “Long Days Journey into Night” is said to be unique among all his other works. “Something torn in agonized honesty from the memory and conscience of its author--who appears to have been compelled to set down this testament of his early home life to preserve his sanity. His chief, one might almost say his only, purpose was revelation of himself to himself.” ( Mann 1) Oneill has been praised for this play by literary critics because of its extremely honest portrayal of human nature, and for his extremely personal act of selflessness in sharing it with the world.

Works Cited:

Drama Criticism. Ed. Janet Witalec. Vol. 20. Detroit: Gale, 2003. p15-30. From Literature Resource Center.

Run

Get out, escape, run

her mind races with thoughts.

There’s more to life than this, when will she fully realize it

his plan goes beyond this A,

On paper she looks happy, but there’s more to her than letters.

She can’t live like this anymore,

sure her name is Christian, but only on Sundays,

or when you catch her on a good day,

or when she feels like embracing this life.

what do you do when everything you planned your life on falls apart?

you run to Him.